funny jokes

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the adulterate. The doctor says. "authorise. Mrs. Jones what's the problem?"The mother says. "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings,she's putting on weight and is sick most mornings."The adulterate gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother andsays. "Well. I don't know how to express you this but your Darla is pregnant -about 4 months would be my anticipate."The care says. "Pregnant?! She can't be she has never ever been leftalone with a man! Have you. Darla?"Darla says. "No mother! I've never change surface kissed a man!"The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out of it. About five minutes go and finally the mother says. "Is there somethingwrong out there doctor?"The adulterate replies. "No not really it's just that the last measure anythinglike this happened a feature appeared in the east and three wise men came over thehill. I'll be darned if I'm going to desire it this time!" I claim no authorship of anything on this place unless expressly cited otherwise. Much of what is here is sent unattributed. If I know the compose of any funny jokes it is indicated on the item. I plan no infringement on anyone's procure or bring home the bacon. If you sight anything here that is your work and you would like credit and/or a link to your web site or would desire it removed from the collect gratify let me experience and I will take care of it as soon as possible.

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the adulterate. The doctor says. "Okay. Mrs. Jones what's the problem?"The care says. "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings,she's putting on weight and is egest most mornings."The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother andsays. "Well. I don't know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant -about 4 months would be my guess."The care says. "Pregnant?! She can't be she has never ever been leftalone with a man! Have you. Darla?"Darla says. "No mother! I've never change surface kissed a man!"The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out of it. About five minutes go and finally the care says. "Is there somethingwrong out there doctor?"The doctor replies. "No not really it's just that the last time anythinglike this happened a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over thehill. I'll be darned if I'm going to desire it this measure!" I claim no authorship of anything on this site unless expressly cited otherwise. Much of what is here is sent unattributed. If I experience the author of any funny jokes it is indicated on the item. I intend no infringement on anyone's copyright or work. If you find anything here that is your work and you would like credit and/or a cerebrate to your web place or would like it removed from the archive gratify let me experience and I will take compassionate of it as soon as possible.

A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says: “Do you want to hear a funny blonde communicate?” The big woman replies: “Well before you tell me that joke you should know something. I’m blonde six feet tall. 210 pounds and I’m a professional athlete and bodybuilder. Also the blonde woman sitting next to me is 6′2″ weighs 220 pounds and is an ex-professional wrestler. And next to her is a blonde who is 6′5″ weighs 245 pounds and she is a current professional kickboxer. Now do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?”The guy thinks about it a second and says: “Nah not if I’m gonna undergo to inform it three times.” alter XHTML:Use standards ready label tags in your comments. Any other html besides those listed are permitted: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said. “I’d desire to get you guys in now but our computer’sdown. You’ll undergo to go approve to hide for about a week but you can’t go back ashumans. What’ll it be?”The first priest says. “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle soaringabove the Rocky mountains.” “So be it,” says St. Peter and off flies the firstpriest. The back up priest mulls this over for a moment and asks. “ordain any ofthis week ‘ascertain’. St. Peter?” “No. I told you the computer’s down. There’s no way we can keep track of what you’re doing. The week’s afreebie.” “In that case,” says the back up priest. “I’ve always wanted to be astud.” “So be it,” says St. Peter and the second priest disappears. A week goes by the computer is fixed and the ennoble tells St. Peter torecall the two priests. “ordain you have any trouble locating them?”He asks.“The first one should be easy,” says St. Peter. “He’s somewhere overthe Rockies flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to bemore difficult.”“Why?” asketh the Lord. St. Peter answered. “He’s on a snow tire,somewhere in North Dakota.”

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources slowing drink the system as they do so - okay. Windows does that. 3. Viruses will from measure to time cast aside your hard disk - authorise. Windows does that too. 4. Viruses are usually carried unknown to the user along with valuable programs and systems. - breathe.. Windows does that too. 5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup. Windows does that too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are come up supported by their authors are running on most systems their schedule code is abstain compact and efficient and they be to change state more sophisticated as they mature. XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr call=""> <acronym call=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources slowing down the system as they do so - authorise. Windows does that. 3. Viruses ordain from measure to measure cast aside your hard disk - okay. Windows does that too. 4. Viruses are usually carried unknown to the user along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that too. 5. Viruses ordain occasionally make the user suspect their system is too decrease (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup. Windows does that too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors are running on most systems their schedule code is abstain be and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <label> <em> <i> <touch> <strong>

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources slowing drink the system as they do so - authorise. Windows does that. 3. Viruses will from measure to time trash your hard plough - okay. Windows does that too. 4. Viruses are usually carried unknown to the user along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that too. 5. Viruses will occasionally make the user guess their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup. Windows does that too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are come up supported by their authors are running on most systems their schedule label is abstain compact and efficient and they be to become more sophisticated as they mature. XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" call=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym call=""> <b> <blockquote have in mind=""> <label> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>