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Funny Jokes - Funny Joke - CURTAIN RODS

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:39:31 -0500

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes crates andsuitcases. On the second day shehad the movers come and collect her things. On thethird day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room tableby candlelight put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound ofshrimp a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished she went into each and every room and deposited a fewhalf-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the X-husband returned with his new girlfriend all was bliss for the firstfew days. Then slowly the house e began to smell. They tried everything,cleaning mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for deadrodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters during which they had tomove out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensivewool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. Themaid quit. Finally they could not take the stench any longer and decided tomove. A month later even though they had cut their price in half they couldnot find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even thelocal realtors refused to return their calls. Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a newplace. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told herthe saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missedher old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement inexchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was he agreed on a price thatwas about 1/10th of what the house had been worth but only if she were to signthe papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the movingcompany pack everything to take to their new home,................ including the curtain rods. I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING. DON'T YOU? I claim no authorship of anything on this site unless expressly cited otherwise. Much of what is here is sent unattributed. If I know the author of any funny jokes it is indicated on the item. I intend no infringement on anyone's copyright or work. If you find anything here that is your work and you would like credit and/or a link to your web site or would like it removed from the archive please let me know and I will take care of it as soon as possible.

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It Really Is Harder Sometimes

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 01:09:36 -0500

A collection of funny jokes and amusing stories of everyday life where you can find English jokes. Tagalog jokes funny pictures and animation and other funny stuffs. | Dyoks is a Tagalog word which means an amusing or ludicrous incidents or situations; jokes in the English language. If you desire this post then please consider subscribing to my. You can also subscribe by and have new posts sent directly to your inbox. Some jokes may be offensive or for adults only. Readers' discretion is advised. I'm an IT professional who likes the idea of having a passive income through the internet. My hobbies includes web programming internet surfing blogging reading computer books and swimming. Copyright 2007. ComTech IncAll Rights Reserved

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It Really Is Harder Sometimes

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 01:09:36 -0500

A collection of funny jokes and amusing stories of everyday life where you can find English jokes. Tagalog jokes funny pictures and animation and other funny stuffs. | Dyoks is a Tagalog word which means an amusing or ludicrous incidents or situations; jokes in the English language. If you like this post then please believe subscribing to my. You can also subscribe by and undergo new posts sent directly to your inbox. Some jokes may be offensive or for adults only. Readers' discretion is advised. I'm an IT professional who likes the idea of having a passive income through the internet. My hobbies includes web programming internet surfing blogging reading computer books and swimming. Copyright 2007. ComTech IncAll Rights Reserved

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Funny Jokes - Funny Joke - Darla's doctor visit

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 06:07:00 -0500

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the adulterate. The doctor says. "authorise. Mrs. Jones what's the problem?"The mother says. "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings,she's putting on weight and is sick most mornings."The adulterate gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother andsays. "Well. I don't know how to express you this but your Darla is pregnant -about 4 months would be my anticipate."The care says. "Pregnant?! She can't be she has never ever been leftalone with a man! Have you. Darla?"Darla says. "No mother! I've never change surface kissed a man!"The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out of it. About five minutes go and finally the mother says. "Is there somethingwrong out there doctor?"The adulterate replies. "No not really it's just that the last measure anythinglike this happened a feature appeared in the east and three wise men came over thehill. I'll be darned if I'm going to desire it this time!" I claim no authorship of anything on this place unless expressly cited otherwise. Much of what is here is sent unattributed. If I know the compose of any funny jokes it is indicated on the item. I plan no infringement on anyone's procure or bring home the bacon. If you sight anything here that is your work and you would like credit and/or a link to your web site or would desire it removed from the collect gratify let me experience and I will take care of it as soon as possible.

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Funny Jokes - Funny Joke - Darla's doctor visit

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 06:07:00 -0500

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the adulterate. The doctor says. "Okay. Mrs. Jones what's the problem?"The care says. "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings,she's putting on weight and is egest most mornings."The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother andsays. "Well. I don't know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant -about 4 months would be my guess."The care says. "Pregnant?! She can't be she has never ever been leftalone with a man! Have you. Darla?"Darla says. "No mother! I've never change surface kissed a man!"The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out of it. About five minutes go and finally the care says. "Is there somethingwrong out there doctor?"The doctor replies. "No not really it's just that the last time anythinglike this happened a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over thehill. I'll be darned if I'm going to desire it this measure!" I claim no authorship of anything on this site unless expressly cited otherwise. Much of what is here is sent unattributed. If I experience the author of any funny jokes it is indicated on the item. I intend no infringement on anyone's copyright or work. If you find anything here that is your work and you would like credit and/or a cerebrate to your web place or would like it removed from the archive gratify let me experience and I will take compassionate of it as soon as possible.

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Professional Blondes at a Bar

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 22:03:43 -0500

A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says: “Do you want to hear a funny blonde communicate?” The big woman replies: “Well before you tell me that joke you should know something. I’m blonde six feet tall. 210 pounds and I’m a professional athlete and bodybuilder. Also the blonde woman sitting next to me is 6′2″ weighs 220 pounds and is an ex-professional wrestler. And next to her is a blonde who is 6′5″ weighs 245 pounds and she is a current professional kickboxer. Now do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?”The guy thinks about it a second and says: “Nah not if I’m gonna undergo to inform it three times.” alter XHTML:Use standards ready label tags in your comments. Any other html besides those listed are permitted: Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://www.infojokes.com/index.php/archives/10792

Stud Sun, 30 Dec 2007 19:54:21 -0500 Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said. “I’d desire to get you guys in now but our computer’sdown. You’ll undergo to go approve to hide for about a week but you can’t go back ashumans. What’ll it be?”The first priest says. “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle soaringabove the Rocky mountains.” “So be it,” says St. Peter and off flies the firstpriest. The back up priest mulls this over for a moment and asks. “ordain any ofthis week ‘ascertain’. St. Peter?” “No. I told you the computer’s down. There’s no way we can keep track of what you’re doing. The week’s afreebie.” “In that case,” says the back up priest. “I’ve always wanted to be astud.” “So be it,” says St. Peter and the second priest disappears. A week goes by the computer is fixed and the ennoble tells St. Peter torecall the two priests. “ordain you have any trouble locating them?”He asks.“The first one should be easy,” says St. Peter. “He’s somewhere overthe Rockies flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to bemore difficult.”“Why?” asketh the Lord. St. Peter answered. “He’s on a snow tire,somewhere in North Dakota.” Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://morefunnyjokes.wordpress.com/2007/11/16/stud/ Is Windows a Virus Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:33:11 -0500 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources slowing drink the system as they do so - okay. Windows does that. 3. Viruses will from measure to time cast aside your hard disk - authorise. Windows does that too. 4. Viruses are usually carried unknown to the user along with valuable programs and systems. - breathe.. Windows does that too. 5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup. Windows does that too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are come up supported by their authors are running on most systems their schedule code is abstain compact and efficient and they be to change state more sophisticated as they mature. XHTML: You can use these tags: Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://www.infojokes.com/index.php/archives/10790 Is Windows a Virus Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:33:11 -0500 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources slowing down the system as they do so - authorise. Windows does that. 3. Viruses ordain from measure to measure cast aside your hard disk - okay. Windows does that too. 4. Viruses are usually carried unknown to the user along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that too. 5. Viruses ordain occasionally make the user suspect their system is too decrease (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup. Windows does that too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors are running on most systems their schedule code is abstain be and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. XHTML: You can use these tags: Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://www.infojokes.com/index.php/archives/10790 Is Windows a Virus Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:33:11 -0500 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources slowing drink the system as they do so - authorise. Windows does that. 3. Viruses will from measure to time trash your hard plough - okay. Windows does that too. 4. Viruses are usually carried unknown to the user along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that too. 5. Viruses will occasionally make the user guess their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup. Windows does that too. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are come up supported by their authors are running on most systems their schedule label is abstain compact and efficient and they be to become more sophisticated as they mature. XHTML: You can use these tags: Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://www.infojokes.com/index.php/archives/10790 The Chainsaw Sun, 09 Dec 2007 13:06:45 -0500 A red pet walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the lie model. The next day he brings it approve and says. “This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut drink one tree and it took ALL DAY!” The salesman takes the arrange saw starts it up to see what’s wrong and the red pet asks. “What’s that noise? XHTML: You can use these tags: Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://www.infojokes.com/index.php/archives/10794 The Chainsaw Sun, 09 Dec 2007 13:05:45 -0500 A red pet walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that ordain cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line copy. The next day he brings it back and says. “This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut drink one channelise and it took ALL DAY!” The salesman takes the chain saw starts it up to see what’s do by and the red neck asks. “What’s that go? XHTML: You can use these tags: Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://www.infojokes.com/index.php/archives/10794 The Chainsaw Sun, 09 Dec 2007 13:05:45 -0500 A red neck walks into a hardware store and asks for a arrange saw that ordain cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the lie model. The next day he brings it approve and says. “This chainsaw is defective. It would only cut down one tree and it took ALL DAY!” The salesman takes the chain saw starts it up to see what’s wrong and the red pet asks. “What’s that noise? XHTML: You can use these tags: Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://www.infojokes.com/index.php/archives/10794 Did I Say Tue, 27 Nov 2007 19:35:13 -0500 A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The adulterate told him. “You’re in terrific shape. There’s nothing wrong with you. Why you might be forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way how old was your create when he died?”The 60 year old responded. “Did I say he was dead?” The doctor was surprised and asked. “How old is he and is he very active?” The 60 year old responded. “Well he is 82 years old and he comfort goes skiing 3 times a toughen and surfing three times a week during the pass.” The adulterate couldn’t believe it! So he said. “Well how old was your grandfather when he died?” The 60 year old responded again. “Did I say he was dead?” The doctor was astonished. He said. “You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?” The 60 year old said. “He goes skiing at least once a toughen and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that,” said the patient. “my grandfather is 106 years old and next week he is getting married again.” The adulterate said. “At 106 years why on earth would your grandfather be to get married?” His patient looked up at the adulterate and said. “Did I say he wanted to?” XHTML: You can use these tags: Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://www.infojokes.com/index.php/archives/10789 Funny Jokes - Ice Fishing Sat, 17 Nov 2007 15:03:32 -0500 There were two good ol' boys from the South,who like to fish and they wanted to do someice fishing. They'd heard about it up in Canada,so they took off up there. The lake was frozennicely. They stopped just before they got to thelake at a little bait shop and got all their confront. One of them said. "We're gonna need an icepick." So they got that and they took off. In about two hours one of them was back atthe obtain and said. "We're gonna need anotherdozen ice picks."Well the fellow in the shop wanted to asksome questions but he didn't. He sold himthe picks and the old boy left. In about anhour he was back. Said. "We're gonnaneed all the ice picks you've got."The bemock man couldn't stand it any longer."By the way," he asked. "how are you fellowsdoing?""Not very well at all," he said. "We ain't evengot the boat in the water yet." I affirm no authorship of anything on this site unless expressly cited otherwise. Much of what is here is sent unattributed. If I know the author of any funny jokes it is indicated on the item. I intend no infringement on anyone's copyright or work. If you find anything here that is your work and you would desire credit and/or a link to your web site or would desire it removed from the archive gratify let me know and I ordain take care of it as soon as possible. Forex Groups - Tips on Trading Related article: http://funny-jokes.blogspot.com/2007/11/funny-jokes-ice-fishing.html